It’s been a little while since I’ve written anything proper, I’ve been working on a new project, but I won’t lie that, that is not the reason I’ve not been writing.
Something troubles me, I cannot explain it properly even through writing, it’s a feeling of dread and unknowing, I know what it is, I know the exact root cause, yet I can do nothing, it’s out of my hands, I’ve been made to feel all of a sudden meaningless and insignificant and I don’t really know what caused it to change or why.
I cannot question why, but it’s been going on for a few days now, I cannot question it no, but I cannot stop questioning myself for it. Is it something I did? I don’t know
I’m not sure why I’m here today writing, I wanted express myself and write a new post, but it seems I cannot, my fingers have taken the lead and it is going elsewhere.
It’s a feeling I cannot explain, it’s making feel sick to the stomach. Sometimes I feel like my mind plays tricks on me, it often catastrophes a situation but this time it’s lost, there a sense of something uncertain, what have I done, have I done something wrong? I wish I could know. What happened?
I often feel too much or not at all, right now I’m feeling too much and it’s becoming overwhelming, I wish it would stop but I cannot give in to suppressing everything again. So this is something I must endure and adapt to, even without answers.
My mind is busy, it’s focused on a conundrum it cannot solve.
I might just leave it here actually, I have no more to say, I don’t have any advice or interesting stories today, I just wanted to be honest with where I am.
I don’t really write my posts for anyone but myself, often I put feelings into it to be understood by people I know or don’t know, and sometimes I share advice and thoughts, but I do everything for myself, I don’t care if no one reads it, but I do often hope that if someone stumbles across they might find some help or similarities to help themselves, I don’t have any today. Sorry.