Off the Radar

I recently ran out of data on my phone, I have 50gb data plan, so actually it’s pretty bad that I managed to use it up, I’m somewhat disappointed with myself.
I’d been endlessly checking my phone recently, hoping, waiting, for something, often at times I wasn’t even sure what I was checking for but I felt like I would find something, it’s pretty hard to explain, it was constant, and it was making me miserable.
I’d been extending my daily limit everyday!

When I got my message telling me i’d ran out, I was somewhat annoyed, I thought about topping it up but it’s only a week away from resetting, I figured i’d be able to make do.

What I discovered was I was actually a lot happier not constantly checking my phone, there was no point I wouldn’t receive anything, I mean no one uses standard texts these days so it was empty, I’ve been out and about quite a bit recently, and it was so much more pleasurable not being a slave to my phone. I engaged in more conversations, often i’d find myself looking at my phone to distract my mind when it went dark but there was nothing on my phone making me happy so in turn it made me more miserable.

There is definitely a correlation between phone usage and happiness, I know there have been scientific experiments between happiness and social media, I don’t have the facts but I can tell you they are out there for you to read.
I only use Instagram now, I can completely cater what I want to see, and I’ve been quite active on it lately, I’m trying to make something of myself, I mean I don’t to get famous or make money, I’d just like people to see life through my eyes, an honest view on it.
I don’t portray a fake persona or a perfect live, I will give you myself in it’s entirety, and yeah I often loose a few followers when I post something ” depressing” but i’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for myself, and maybe another reason I haven’t quite come to terms with yet, but for the most part it’s all for myself, I just want to share my world with people whether they care or not.

Let’s go back a bit though, I think I might start taking some steps where use my phone less, I might invest in a cheap shitty basic phone for everyday use, I’m torn because there are some people in my life that I would want to be able to instantly talk back to but we don’t talk via normal texting.
I think my first step will be to just turn off my mobile data when I’m out and about, I can check it as and when I actually need to, at least it’s on my own terms them, not aimlessly waiting for stupid notifications.

I spoke a bit about technology being our downfall recently, where everything is instant and at our finger tips but what if it’s not what if we only took the time when we had the time, that doesn’t mean ignoring people, I mean if you really want to talk you will but why don’t we just tell people we’ll get back to them when we can.

It’s been less than 3 whole days since my data ran out and I feel a lot better at least when I don’t have access to a WiFi point, I mean I have also increased my medication, but I doubt it’s been that effective so quickly.

Everything these days is addictive and we often get caught up in it’s trap, it is worrying actually, we’ve become slaves to technology, dumbing us down every second, we have the whole internet at our finger tips and we’re using to send meaningless likes to people a whole world away.

I’ve always dreamt of dropping completely off the radar, but I was always concerned people would miss me, but I don’t think they will, it seems if your presence isn’t seen people quickly forget, hell I deactivated my Facebook for a whole year once, few people noticed. I suppose one of my biggest fears is to be forgotten about, but maybe if someone forgets about you, they don’t really matter, who knows.
Maybe one day soon i’ll just disappear.

James



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